And then, it happens. Reality hits you. You realize you’re not where you want to be. It starts to get to you that, despite your intensive career-seeking efforts, you’ve yet to land that great job. You hear about other people who’ve gotten jobs, and you start to wonder if, maybe, you’re not working hard enough. You question your efforts, your dedication, maybe even yourself. And before you can say, “Take on me, take me on, I'll be gone, In a day or twooooooooooooooooooooooooooo,” you’ve come down with what doctors clinically refer to as Crawling Under the Sheets Syndrome (or CUSS, although I hear they’re working on a better acronym).
We’ve all been there. Every one of us has, at one point or another, succumbed to some form of despair and crawled under the imagined sanctuary of our bed sheets. Yes, even those optimistic people who smile at two broken ribs and remain perky throughout a root canal; they just don’t tell you about it. Those of us actively career-seeking are probably more prone to feeling that occasional bout of despair and depression because, you know, unemployment sucks.
But you know what? It’s okay. Bad days are unavoidable, and there’s no sense pretending that you can avoid them if you just maintain a painfully rigid weekly schedule in which you career-seek 41 hours each day. Better to concede that we’re going to have bad days so that we can figure out how to keep them from becoming bad weeks—or worse, bad months.
So how do we deal with a bad day? How do we get back up when we feel like the only thing we can really do is crawl under a rock? Here are six ideas that are certain to perhaps help you overcome a bad day, guaranteed (perhaps):
- As I’ve said before, be kind to yourself. Don’t start to doubt or question yourself, and don’t devalue the hard work you’ve already put in by suddenly thinking it’s all been a waste of time. You didn’t think that yesterday, and chances are you won’t be thinking it tomorrow, so there’s no sense in thinking it today. And you know that little voice in your head (no, not THAT one) telling you that you totally suck and that you’re worth less than the ickiest pile of not-quite-white melted snow? Well, that voice is also saying that the Detroit Lions are going to the Super Bowl each year. Are you really going to believe what it says about you? You’re better off listening to that little voice that assures you that, yes, you’re doing the best that you can, and that your hard work will pay off sooner than later. It’s a more credible source (especially since it’s never once mentioned the words “Detroit Lions” and “Super Bowl” in the same sentence).
- Help someone else, whether it’s someone in your network of career-seekers, or someone on a discussion board asking for advice, or even someone asking you how YOU deal with bad days. Do you remember that sense of fulfillment you get when you’ve just helped someone with a problem or shared a perspective that really got them thinking? When you’ve just directed someone to a great resource you found, and they look at you like you’ve just given them the winning numbers to the next Mega Millions? There’s just something wonderful about helping someone else with the knowledge you’ve already accumulated. And more than likely, you’re going to feel a lot better about yourself, because that happy person you’ve just helped is proof enough that you DO know what you’re doing!
- Get other necessary stuff done. Sometimes, we get bad days because we feel like we’re not really accomplishing anything. We tend to be results-driven people, and we’re not seeing the results (i.e., employment) we’re striving for. Well, switch gears for a while. Get up from your computer and go do something else. Didn’t you say you wanted to tackle that mountain of laundry before climbing enthusiasts started showing up at your door? Weren’t you going to call that crazy, slightly unsettling friend you really don’t want to speak to but whom you’ve been sending to voicemail for the past six weeks? And what about the dishes? Didn’t you say you were going to finally do them because you thought you saw signs of life on that one plate that morning? Well, now’s a good time. Get some basic chores done and you’ll feel like you’ve accomplished something. Not to mention, getting some chores done will improve the quality of life in your home, and that’s never a bad thing.
- Set alternative goals for a day. If you just don’t feel like you’ve got the will to do your four-five hours of social media networking, then shift your efforts toward something else that gives you a sense of personal accomplishment. If you’re a writer, take some time to work on whatever story/novel/blog post you wanted to do later that day. If you’re a musician, play your instrument or finish writing that riff for that one new song you’re working on. If you’re a home improvement specialist, take some time to work on that repair/replacement/demolition project you’ve been planning. Do whatever it is you’d be doing for personal fulfillment if you were employed; just because you’re a full-time career-seeker doesn’t mean you should abandon your hobbies or passions.
- Do something you like to do to blow off some steam when you’re in a bad mood—without reservation or guilt. (Personally, nothing calms my nerves and bad moods better than real-time strategy games. There’s just something soothing about painstakingly finding the most effective way of blowing things up.) What helps your bad moods go away? Physical activity? Whaling on a non-human punching bag? Heavy metal Karaoke? Whatever it is, take some time to indulge yourself and do it—and do it without guilt. You’re allowed some you-time throughout this process, you know, especially if an hour or two of you-time will pull you out of a bad day nose dive.
- When all else fails, and you find yourself still wanting to crawl under your sheets, it’s okay to initiate a strategic retreat. As active career-seekers, we already put ourselves under enormous pressure to work, network, promote our brand, network some more, post relevant Twitter feeds, establish 401 new LinkedIn connections, and, oh yeah, find a job. Don’t add the pressure of having to win a battle of productivity each day. If you feel you absolutely can’t do anything else that day, no problem! There is no shame in retreating for the day and conceding to a momentary defeat. Tomorrow is another day, and a good night of sleep will recharge your body and your spirits.
These ideas are in no way meant to offer a definitive guide to overcoming a bad day, especially since all the good ideas in the world can’t solve every problem, nor are they a substitute for simply talking to someone who will listen to you. Maybe that’s the best advice of all: talk. To anyone. A family member. A significant other. A discussion group. A support group like EmployNet (shameless plug: join us every Monday at 9:30 a.m. at Hambo’s in Ferndale). The annoying guy writing this blog post. Share your thoughts, and don’t be at all ashamed to ask for help in pulling out of your bad mood.
Bad days are unavoidable and part of the career-seeking process. But it’s definitely in your hands to keep a bad day from turning into a bad week—or a bad month.
For more quasi-helpful and tediously brief advice, please follow my Twitter feed at inventingsilva (wow, two shameless plugs in one blog post…). It’s what Frodo would have wanted.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment